oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dick very happy bro
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
