i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
