First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
