Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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