So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
