I showed him my bush... on skype.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
