i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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