4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
