Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
