You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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