Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Randomize
