3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
