she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
