I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have already put on my inside pants.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
