the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
