I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
