Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
