Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
