Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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