alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
