I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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