Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
