GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
