Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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