I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
