Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
nutella sex= disaster
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
