He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
