Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
