I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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