I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
