But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
