I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
