That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
