her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
