I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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