It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
