ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
