We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
