he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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