You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
