He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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