I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
