I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
