wat bout pragnant strippers??
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
