Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
