is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
