i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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