OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
