pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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