I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
