i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
