he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
