I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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