When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
