so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
